Harry Potter: A Parody
by Historybuff1536
Summary: A Harry Potter parody of epic proportions.


I know y'all think I've fell off the face of the earth; but ta-da! Here I am. I'm sorry that I don't update as much as I should. But I'm almost a senior now, and college work comes first bb's. :(

Hopefully this bit of humor will make up for it. – Translation: Please don't rip out my spleen and use it for a toothpick, because of my lack of updating.

We had our first snow of the season here in South-East Germany; and its freakin' cold. On a positive note, I _finally_ got to see real snow. YAY, for me.

-Misty

* * *

Harry wrapped his free arm around Ron in a manly sort of hug, while he used his other hand to hold up his pint. Ron pushed up his glass as well, and the glasses came together with a _clink_.

"To England!" Ron shouted.

Everyone in the pub, repeated Ron's victory shout, and took a drink from their glasses. Harry grinned as he sat down his half empty glass, and grabbed a handful of peanuts from the bowl in front of him.

He popped a few in his mouth as he was listening to Neville and Ron's play by play of the World Cup; which had just ended a few hours ago.

"The French seeker thought he had the Snitch." Ron laughed. "But Andrews cut him off and plucked it out of the air right under his nose!" Ron threw his head back laughing and took another gulp of his beer.

Their commentaries went on for another half hour before Neville rose from his seat, and flipped his cloak over his shoulders. " I hate to cut it short guys, but I told Hannah I would be home early."

"See you later mate." Harry and Ron shook Neville's hand, before the later went over to the Fireplace and flooed home.

Harry looked at the watch that Molly had given him a few years ago. "We should be heading home too mate. I imagine the girls almost have dinner ready."

"Alright." Ron downed the last of his beer, and the two of them rose from their seats. "What did Gin say she was making?"

"Pot Roast." Harry said as they walked outside to Apparate.

"Yum. Gin's is _almost_ as good as Mum's."

"You better not say that around Ginny." Harry said seriously. " She's been a right moody bint the past few weeks."

Ron cringed. He still couldn't believe his sister was pregnant; he tried not to think about how the little nipper came to be. "I'll remember that."

"I'm serious." Harry told him. "My nose is still tingling." A solemn look came across his face. Ron thought he looked like a man who had went to war, and was sorry that he lived to tell the tale.

"Right…see you there."

Harry turned, and landed in the alley near his flat; Ron popped in a second later.

"Am I all here?" Ron asked, as he patted his self down.

Harry rolled his eyes, and began walking. "Ron you're not that pissed. Besides if you're standing straight, that means all the _important _parts made—" Harry stopped and grinned. "Wait…never mind."

Ron's eyes went wide and he reached down to feel the front of his trousers. Harry threw his head back in laughter as they neared the door to his building.

"That was not funny!" Ron exclaimed.

Harry pulled out his key and opened the door; the two of them climbed the stairs to the second floor, laughing and punching each other's arms lightly. When they entered the flat, the smell of roast meat and veggies hit their noses. Both of their stomachs rumbled in delight.

"Ginny? Hermione?" They called.

"In here!"

Harry and Ron followed the voices to the small dining room. Both of the girls were huddled together at the kitchen table.

Harry bent down, and kissed his wife; Ron did the same.

"How was the game?" Ginny asked. A hint of jealousy was in her voice; she was due in a month and didn't want risk anything by going to a major sporting event around pissed idiots. So she sat it out.

"It was alright" Harry tried to deadpan, he felt bad that Ginny couldn't go. "We won."

"We heard on the wireless." Then she added. "You can be excited."

Harry smiled a crooked smile for her, and Ginny grinned.

"What were the two of you doing?" Ron asked; pointing to the labtop on the kitchen table.

Hermione grinned. "Research."

"What kind of Wizarding research would be on…wait…what's it called again?"

"The _internet_ Ron, and we're looking at the Muggle kind."

"Muggle?"

Hermione's grin got bigger. "We were checking to see how Harry's books were selling."

Harry groaned. He still couldn't believe he'd agreed to let someone write out his whole life story, and sell it off as Muggle Children's books. The writer expected she'd have to write out seven whole books over the course of several years, to work everything in; though at the moment only three were out.

"They're doing quite well. According to this website they're a top seller." Ginny told him.

Harry shrugged. "That's good I guess."

"They're Amazing." Hermione said scrolling down the page she was on. "She's going to tell your story right Harry. Her words capture everything perfectly."

"Yeah." Ginny sighed. "But I think I'm going to have a hard time reading the last one."

Everyone took a collective breath, and Ginny went to dab her eyes. "Harry could you go check on the Pot Roast; I think it's almost ready."

Harry turned to go to the kitchen, and Ginny and Hermione huddled over the computer once more; Ron looked over their shoulders.

Scanning through the article Hermione came across a part that caught her eye. "Fanfiction?" She said.

Ginny looked down to that part too and read out load. _"Since the publication of the Harry Potter Novels, Fanfiction hosting sites have seen a fifty two percent jump in fan based written works." _

"Hummm…I wonder what that is." Hermione began typing, and clicked on the search button. After browsing for several minutes she said. "Apparently Fanfiction is when a person writes a story based on someone else's books; but they don't make any money off of it. They take the characters, and places from the books and write their own plots with them. "

Ron sat down. "Why would they do a bloody thing like that? Work on something, and not get paid? That's mad!"

Hermione scowled at him. "Some people actually enjoy doing things for the simple pleasure of doing them Ron." She rolled her eyes.

Ginny ignored Ron. "So people are writing stories about _us_?"

Hermione bit her lip. "I think so."

"Look some of them up." Ginny demanded.

"Alright." Hermione began typing again, and her eyes went wide when she saw how many websites came up under her search. She clicked the first one, and began looking around. And sure enough, there was an entry titled 'Harry Potter.' Hermione clicked it, and her mouth dropped open.

"There's over a quarter of a million entries! Sweet Merlin!"

"What?" Ginny asked.

"Really?" Ron wanted to know.

Hermione began sifting through the search options, and figured out how they worked. "You can look up a story based on who's in it, or if it's sad or funny, how long it is, if it's still being written or—"

Hermione stopped and stared at the screen.

"What?" Ginny asked again.

Hermione swallowed. "Or by what its rated." She looked at Ron and Ginny. "They have a 'M' rating."

"What's that?" Ron asked.

"It means its rated Mature. Or in other words…for adults only."

"What?" Ginny and Ron yelped at the same time.

Hermione looked a little pale. "Our names are up here. All of them."

Harry came in to the room; a dish towel draped over his shoulder. "What's going on?"

Hermione filled him in on what they had discovered, and he too looked a little pale. "And that's legal?"

"Apparently so…I mean, all they're doing is writing it. They're not making any money. From what it looks like, they do it for fun."

"What are they saying?" Harry asked. But to tell you the truth he didn't want to know.

"Well they're not all Adult rated, some are rated for Children or teens."

"How about we start with those first?" Ginny patted her swollen belly. "I don't think James can take too much more excitement."

"Alright…who should we do first? There's a space for two names."

Everyone looked at each other, but no one said anything.

"Well I'll just put in Harry first, since the books are named after him, and—" She grinned. "I'll put Ginny in the next one. And we'll make it humor stories."

"Thanks Hermione."

Over the course of the next hour, Ron, Hermione and Harry sat there laughing, while Ginny sat there getting redder and redder. "I am not that psycho! And I do not speak like that." Her arms were crossed.

Ron was wiping tears away from his eyes. "I'm sorry Gin, but that was funny!"

Ginny just huffed, and blew at a strand of hair in her face.

"Ginny it's just a story." Harry tried to reason.

Ginny's teeth began to grind. "It's. not. Funny."

The look on her face began to scare Hermione. "How about we look up something else?" This time she didn't look up anything by name, she just did an overall search. "What does H and Hr mean? Hummm…"

Hermione clicked on that one, and began to read out load, but after a while she began t feel that something wasn't quite right. "Wait, are they suggesting that myself and Harry are….?"She trailed off and looked at the other three; all their mouths were hanging open.

"Have they lost their bloody minds!?" Ron screeched.

"I guess they don't know how to read properly." Ginny sighed, and Harry snorted.

Hermione just shrugged. "They only know until our third year. I guess they're just speculating."

"Or lost their bloody minds" Ron grumbled.

Ginny looked at Harry and Ron, and smiled as an idea struck her. "I wonder?" She pulled the labtop towards herself and put in a few search options of her own. And when it finished loading, she almost busted a lung from laughing. "Look at these!" And she pushed the computer towards the rest of them.

Harry looked at the pages. "Me and Ron? What are these abo— WHAT THE HELL?!!!"

Ron and Harry grabbed the computer at the same time just as Hermione and Ginny started holding each other up laughing. Their cries of outrage went on for ten more minutes before Ginny finally took the labtop away and shut it. "They're just stories you prats!"

"About real people." Harry retorted.

"They don't know that. They think the books are made up."

"You didn't think that a few minutes ago, when they were writing about you." Ginny ignored him.

"That doesn't matter!" tried Ron. But Ginny was already putting the computer in its case. "Dinner has been ready for over an hour. Let's go eat." And she said it in a manner that left no doubt that it was her final word on the subject.

"Fine." Ron huffed and he rose from his chair to go to the kitchen. Harry followed. You could hear both of them muttering all the way there.

Hermione turned to look at Ginny. "One of these days I'm going to end up in prison for killing those two."

"Well, you went on a nine month camping trip with them. If you didn't kill them then, I doubt you'll do it know." Ginny reasoned.

Hermione giggled, and then she pointed towards Ginny's swollen stomach. "Has he been doing any more back flips?"

"I think he's been asleep, the past few hours." Ginny told her. "That or he's getting ready to come out, and I really hope it's the last of the two."

Hermione laughed again. "I can't wait to see Harry's face when its time. Me, Ron, Bill, Charlie and George have a pool going, on whether or not he passes out."

Ginny's eyes lit up. "I want in on that."

Hermione reached in her bag and pulled out a bit of parchment. "What do you want me to put you down for?"

"A Gallon that he hits the floor."

Hermione scribbled down Ginny's bet, and took the money that Ginny pulled out from the Jar on the shelf behind her.

Ginny bit her lip as a thought occurred to her. "Hermione? Didn't that lady say she was planning on putting our children in the last bit, in the last book?"

"Yeah." Hermione told her.

"What if?" Ginny said, and she nodded her head towards the computer. Hoping Hermione would catch on. She did.

Hermione thought about it, and bit her lip as well. "Well that's a long way away right; best not to worry about it just yet. Besides me and Ron don't even have any yet, and you know she doesn't want to finish the last one until our families are done growing."

"Yeah you're right." And the two of them rose from their chairs.

Ginny patted her belly. "Besides it's not like they'd write something barmy like James here, and a daughter of Malfoy's. You know…if he has one by the time the last book comes out."

Hermione laughed. "Or if Malfoy has a son, and me and Ron have a daughter; they wouldn't pair any of our kids with any of Malfoy's."

Ginny draped her arm around Hermione's shoulders. "You always are the voice of reason."

Hermione beamed as they headed towards the kitchen. "Besides, the fans of the books love us too much for that."


End file.
